so, there's nothing bad happening here, well except for my step-father having a back fracture and being in a ton of pain and my mother who has a series of illnesses trying to care for him while my husband and I are trying to be helpful by cooking and cleaning and such...
and I feel melancholy and wonder why...hmmm...I remember this from my last visit in September too. It's all under the surface, everyone putting on a good front and all that. I'm also scared shitless about an MRI coming up but not telling anyone especially my parents as I don't want to add to their burdens, so lucky you who read my blog...here it is.
Also the anniversary of my cat dying on Dec. 28 and my father dying on Jan. 7 coming up and all that makes me feel light-headed...plus the feeling I should stay here and take care of my parents but knowing they won't ask etc. Probably should have gotten to an AA meeting yesterday but did not and friends coming around soon so little chance of that today. And then sometimes I wonder if it's all just a selfish desire to change my feelings and perhaps this feeling of melancholy just needs to be accepted.
on the good news front, someone is interested in working on one of my texts for the theatre, who like isn't me, so that will be interesting if it happens. Also in a part of the world I've never had any dealings with on the West Coast so that is also interesting...
dealing also with feelings of Sheer Exhaustion also coming on now...somehow feeling overwhelmed with both sadness and tiredness so I think it's time to take a nap before enforced socializing takes place.
I hope you and yours are having a good holiday time and if not, remember, this too shall pass.
From the land of moose and snow,
be well.
A series of anonymous rants, raves, dreams, nightmares, thoughts, beliefs, loves, hates and general stuff about living life on the edge of global capitalism being a transcendental existentialist artist writer bi-continental long term sober alcoholic addict and survivor of every known kind of abuse (like so many)…in other words: life with no windshield. Come on in, you’re welcome here whoever you are, there’s a cool wind blowing and you can feel Everything.
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